Sometimes late at night, when everyone is asleep in bed and I am feeding Smiles in the dark, I get scared. The fish tank, which is so low with water that it roars like a waterfall, covers all other sounds. It is also the only light since I do not wish to wake my son more than I have to and I also do not want to wake from my sleep walkish state.
I was changing the little bottom one night before switching to the other side for feeding when I saw something move. I saw the shadow of it on my left. I wasn't sure what it was, I just knew that I had seen something. Was it a spider that had been extra close to the light? Was it our cat or dog? Whatever it was had now gone, so I finished feeding my boy and promptly put him on my shoulder for burping so we could both get back into our beds.
What was that! I felt something move across my arm. Fear lurched me forward. It must have been the something that I had seen before in the shadows! How would I defend myself...and my son? I am terribly afraid of spiders. All this in split seconds in my head because as I look down I see that my little tickle had come from none other than Smiles. His tiny little hand had ever so slightly brushed my arm. My goodness I need to wake up a little more when I am feeding him. I can't believe I am so easily frightened...oh wait, yes I can.