Jedi Training Camp

While I work on my painting stripes post, which I have not forgotten, I'll share a bit of what life is like when Daddy is in charge. Photos all taken while Mom was not around...by Handsome. He is a Star Wars fan, so we have light sabers for all the kids. Don't go too far with your imagination though. While he likes the movies and books, he isn't the all out Star Wars crazy. He only has light sabers for the kids because he works at Target and has found them on sale. No costumes to the movies or anything like that =).

Daddy's Jedi Training Camp

The Big "Sis" fights a raging battle against Ana Won. Being her first battle, Ana Won fares well. She has spunk and determination, but the Sis is a feisty warrior that brings all she has got to battle. Will Ana Won defeat the Sis?

She is caught in a corner with no way to escape. Things are looking mighty grim for Ana Won!

She escapes with her maneuverability skills. Ana Won has rubber joints you know. (She does of course =)...I'm thinking about Gumby for a blog name as long as no one has issues with that.) From the look on the Sis' face, I do wonder if she let her go for the fun of chasing her...

Ana Won is tracking the Sis with Smiles at her side, ready to team up. Notice that Smiles has little faith in their team. He carries a doctor bag instead of his light saber. Don't loose hope yet Smiles! Ana Won has faith in you, and so does Mommy!

Ana Won has found signs of her, Smiles isn't sure. He might have little faith in their victory because he has seen THIS:

The Sis is ready for battle, waiting for them to step into her trap!

You can see where Smiles would be filled with fear! Run Ana Won, run!

Ana Won is up for the task of fighting the Sis. Fearlessness...or lack of experience? I cannot be sure.



But wait! It just so happens that Smiles has a secret. He is non other than...

Dun, Dun, Dun......


And Smiles sneaks in to save the day. Tune in next time as we watch the battle of Ana Won and Darth Smiles against The Sis. It's sure to be a great battle.

Step Away From the Nutella!

I do tend to have this obsession with Nutella from time to time. Or all the time. Handsome knows that my Nutella is by the jar, just for me. I use my finger. I double dip. I'm not too proud to admit it, it's sort of like being an addict except without the support groups to help you stop. Costco does sell them in sets of two jars, so we are good there. If he wants to share a jar with Curly and myself then that's fine, but the first jar is MINE!

Oh...and I am civilized enough to use a spoon from time to time. Just not most of the time.

So, "funny" thing happened the other weekend. Chalupa and my Mom were here building us a fence for our yard and I was outside with Chalupa. I hear my Mom call from inside asking me why I had this in my cupboard:

Yes, that's right. Handsome is a witty fellow. Ha. Ha. Ha. (That is me NOT laughing.)

He put a life size printed bottle of Nutella in the cupboard and left it here for me to find.

I call him to find out where the heck my Nutella is. While he is at work. (And let's be honest, I was laughing a little.)

Me: "Where did you put my Nutella?"

Handsome: "What?" holding back snickering of course. He is bad at lying to me.

Me: "WHERE is MY NUTELLA?!?"

Handsome: "Oh, that Nutella?"

Me: "YES. THAT Nutella.", as if there are thousands of jars of Nutella lying around our house.

Handsome: "I ate it all."

Me: "You couldn't have eaten it all. The jar was 3/4 full. Where is it?!", laughing but still wanting to know where it is, like NOW.

Handsome: "I did eat it. I ate it on toast and then eggs. Then I brushed my teeth with it and BATHED in it.", now totally making fun of me and laughing at my expense.

He then gives me this awful hint that is something to do with cows that is supposed to lead me to the crockpot in the pantry! What?! Where would I get crockpot out of "where the cows used to go"?

He was apparently going for the fact that I cook roast in there. Ummm....yeah. Step AWAY from the Nutella buddy, and nobody gets hurt!

Don't worry. See, I found it and it's now safe with me.

Moments on Facebook

So, quite a few of you were witnesses and participants in last night's Facebook laughter. I didn't anticipate all of the fun participation from friends when I posted a status about my silly husband and a certain incident. I just had to share it with someone, so I thought, "Why not on Facebook?"

I had some good laughs last night, so I thought I would post what went down so that those without Facebook like Mom and Gramps could get a good laugh too. I have some funny friends.

I have changed names or taken out last names, so don't be surprised when you see your name different than your FB account. (I don't call myself ME and my honey isn't Handsome on there either...)

Me is laughing at her husband who just said, "OUCH!" as he ironed his chest...on purpose. 7:53pm

Handsome at 8:01pm March 15

I can't do anything in my home now...sheesh! Just to clarify...I was ironing my SHIRT while it was on. It was warm and then...yes...it dared burn me!

Brie at 8:42pm March 15

Um T, I think you are the only person I have ever heard of that irons their clothing while it is on?? You weren't surprised that you got burned....were you??

JR Miller at 8:44pm March 15

is nothing sacred anymore??? now a man can't even injure himself with a home appliance without everyone knowing about it... what is the world coming to.

On the flip side, that is really funny LOL

JR Miller at 8:45pm March 15

oh, and I am also glad you were not ironing your pants... ouch!

ME at 8:51pm March 15

Joe, I think that made me laugh more than the original incident!

This is what happens when I don't have time to iron his clothes...he takes it into his own hands.

JR Miller at 8:56pm March 15

what does he do when you don't wash his clothes?

Katherine Laine at 8:56pm March 15

This is the kind of report that provokes the iron company to put warnings on the labels that read "Do Not Iron Clothes While Wearing Them"

Alicia at 9:17pm March 15

Just to defend T a bit...I sometimes use my hair straightener to "iron" my clothes...while they're on. T, it's really easy, and you don't burn yourself!

Handsome at 9:18pm March 15

I guess I need to clarify again...the iron wasn't on anymore, it was cooling so I figured it'd be warm and I was cold...and it was...quite warm. I guess the more I clarify the more this sounds stupid. :) Well I got warm at least...and publicly humiliated by my own wife! =p

Suzanne at 10:24pm March 15

this brought so much humor into my evening!! Thank you! (Alicia-a hair straightener????) lol

Stephanie at 10:50pm March 15

Hmm...warm iron, chest...yep that would hurt!!! lol Thanks for the antic! needed a good laugh!

Followed by this picture this morning...

With this caption: I heard this photo is from the week A left T to do the laundry.

Created by Joe over at More Than Cake. I love that he used the picture with the flower in his hair too!

Thanks friends for some great participation in a fun evening. It was great!

Getting a Lickin'

Tonight as we were cleaning dishes after our Sunday dinner, Curly was helping us dry them. I look over at her since her Daddy was laughing...or trying not to. Can you guess what I saw?

I thought about actually making you guess and posting the answer tomorrow, but since no person in their right mind would be capable of guessing, I will tell you.

My daughter, sweet as she may be, was LICKING a glass! I KNOW! What was going through her head? She was helping dry and then suddenly switched to creating more moisture. Not just any moisture, but not so clean moisture. I was a bit in shock and had to "sneeze" and turn my head a couple of times while discussing the reasons we DO NOT lick clean cups when we are helping to dry them. I just had a terrible time not laughing- mostly out of shock.


Do not ask me to understand the workings of a child's mind. It is beyond me.

Why Dragons Went Extinct

A little while back my sister was here, one of many sisters. In order to protect said sister from major embarrassment, I will keep her name private. She was watching Curly play with her Little People Noah's Ark and we were talking about the animals that went on the ark.

Sister: "There was a dragon on the ark?!?"


Allow me to mention that the Handsome likes all things fantasy and has dragons and Ogres and all sorts of crazy things mixed in with the kid's toys. The dragon had been part of a gift that someone gave him at work before we even had kids and he just threw it in with the ark since it was a Little People dragon.

Me: "Yeah. Didn't you know that!? That's why dragons went extinct. Only one of them made it into the ark." This being because there was only one dragon as opposed to the other animals that were in pairs going with the story of the ark.

Sister, with major excitement over this new revelation: "No! I can't believe I never knew that! It totally makes sense though. That's why dragons went extinct...DUH."

Other sister and I are laughing at her at this point.

Sister: "What?"

Me: "I was just joking. There were no dragons in the ark."

Sister: "Well, what happened to them?"

Me: "Uhhh...well, unless you are asking Handsome, they never really existed."

Sister: "Oh." She proceeded to laugh at herself with us.

No worries. This sister did think it was funny afterward. And I made sure to tell her the true story right away. We wouldn't want her to go telling the little children at church that there had been a dragon on the ark.

Daddy Leg

As we were getting dressed in PJ's earlier tonight, Curly tried to put both legs into one pant leg. I told her that she needed to switch one to a different leg hole. As she was switching one over...

"This is the Daddy leg, this is the Mommy leg."


"Oh." Vicky and I smiled and tried not to laugh too much.

"Yes. This is the Daddy leg...AND THIS is the Daddy toe!" Pointing to her big toe.


We smiled again and just went with it for her to see where she was taking us. We were laughing quite a bit at this point.

"And this is the girl toe, and this is the girl toe, and the girl toe, and the baby toe." All this on her left foot.

She moves to the right foot. "This is the Vicky toe."

What Do You Do All Day?

Fair warning- this is a very long post. Make sure you have time to read it. Start by clicking on the article to view larger, then read what I have to say about that. I promise it's just fun. If you want to write about your day and how it looks and then link in the comments, feel welcome to. I know that we all have very different looking days.


One of the ladies at my MOPS table sent this to me today. It's nice, but I think that she didn't really give enough insight into what goes on during my days, so the reader could be left thinking that it was just another blanket answer to the question she had rather than what she was looking for. So- for the lady that wanted to know what goes on in the day of a mom, here is an overview of my life.

7 am (on the good days)- Kids wake up. Curly gets her Kix and milk after changing her diaper into panties and you might think that would be easy. It takes about fifteen minutes. She wriggles and gets distracted a lot.

7:15 am- Start feeding Smiles. I would say to get both sides done takes about 20 minutes or so (since you don't have children, lady in the paper, I will remind you that when you breastfeed a baby you have two sides to take care of. ) Then change his diaper and clothe him, which is much faster because he is too small to participate. This makes things much easier.

7:50 am- Put Smiles on the floor to play with sister for a minute so that I can go to the bathroom and get coffee started.

7:55 am- Pour coffee into cup and head back to the kids (our house is very open, so I am able to watch her with him the whole time...other than the bathroom...we do have SOME privacy, though usually Curly follows me there too)

7:57 am- Take Curly to go potty.

8:00 am- Conversations with Curly. They are sweet, but often LONG because she is like her uncle N. in the fact that it takes her like three hours to say absolutely nothing. Ummm, uhhh... or perhaps starting the same sentence six times (NOT exaggerating there) because she has such long thoughts that her brain forgets what the point was when she started. Then she starts all over again.

8:45 am- Yes, that time flew and I am wondering where the last forty five minutes are because that conversation COULD NOT have taken THAT long! I take a minute to call my Mommy. It's part of the morning routine. Usually she will appease me for a bit knowing that she is probably the only adult conversation that I will have until 5 to 6 pm when Handsome calls to tell me he is on his way home.

9:05 am- Take Curly potty.

9:30 am- I figure out that I am going to need to shower some time and that Smiles is half an hour late for his nap. I put him down and sacrifice my hygiene for another hour because the, probably childless, people who designed our house put his bedroom smack between our bathroom shower and the laundry room. While he is sleeping I can not shower or clean the clothes. When can I do them you ask? Well, you tell me. We just wear dirty clothes and don't wash ourselves much.

While Smiles sleeps- Curly and I read sometimes. Sometimes I do some of the dishes that we made last night. Often I check e-mail and do my blog reading...sometimes the writing too. Sanity time. Curly is a great individual time type of kid. I hear that lots of kids need entertainment a lot of the time they are awake. I am blessed with a girl that likes to play by herself sometimes. She likes to be in the room with me, but often that is enough.

Unless I am on the phone.

10:15 am- Take Curly potty.

10:30 am- Smiles wakes up. We change his diaper. I feed him (two sides, remember? you're learning!) He gets some play time in the exersaucer, which he LOVES. We play some music or sing songs on our own. I try to get a load of laundry in, but some thing gets in the way. It goes by super fast!

10:30 am- Take Curly potty.

10:47 am- I actually get to take a 5 minute shower. Curly with Letter Factory (children's DVD) and Smiles in his swing. They are safe from the dog and each other.

11:00 am- Lunch time. Curly usually likes to make herself a Peaner Jelly sandwich. It requires lots of help and some clean up, but it makes her feel independent and she loves it. She eats that along with her other food which is different depending on the day, while Smiles has himself some big boy food too. THAT is a mess and requires lots of cleaning.

12:00 pm- Yep, that's right. I didn't skip time on you there. I can't speak for everyone else with children, but mine eat SLOW. Like molasses. In the winter. Smiles, well he is a little faster, but he will chew on the washcloth that I wiped his face with for quite some time. We talk during that time or whatever. Often I will use lunch time to try and get a couple of things done too. Usually the remaining dishes, folding laundry, going to the bathroom, stuff like that.

Anyway, noon means start getting them down for nap. Put a diaper on Curly for nap and put her into bed. That takes about 15 to 30 minutes depending. It's always different. "I need my water." "I can't sleep with a pony tail in!" tears falling like tumbling down a flight of stairs (it gets worse as each second goes by). I will spare you more details.

Smiles fights it too. By the time I am done putting them both down for nap, it's half over already!

1 pm- I eat lunch. I have a little computer time. I read most of the time, sometimes I take a short nap if the night before had multiple wakings by crying children needing something.

1:30 or 2 pm- One or both are waking up. Curly is a grumpy guss when she wakes up. It takes her about half an hour to come around. Smiles always wakes up HAPPY! That's where he gets his name. He is an absolute JOY when he wakes up. So...I end up showering Curly with snuggles for a little while so that she can wake up and get those grumps out.

I change the diapers and give them each drinks. Curly gets hers in a cup. Smiles, well you get that drill by now. We play for a couple of minutes before Smiles goes down for another nap.

2:15 pm- Take Curly potty.

2:20 pm- Leave the bathroom to shortly after notice the "pee pee" dance happening.

2:25 pm- Take Curly potty.

3 pm- Smiles goes down for his final nap. Curly and I play a game or do some type of learning activity together. She loves her alone time, even though she adores her brother.

3:50 pm- Smiles wakes up. We take Curly potty.

4:00 pm- Feed Smiles while Curly plays by herself.

4:15 pm- Get the kids involved in something so that I can start dinner.

4:30 pm- Cook dinner.

5:00 pm- Feed the kids dinner.

5:30 pm- Start getting Smiles ready for bed.

5:45 pm- Get Curly ready for bed.

5:55 pm- Feed Smiles on both sides and then put him in bed.

6:15 pm- Read to Curly and put her in bed with Daddy who got home about 5 minutes ago.

6:30 or 7 pm- leave Curly's room.

This is when I am free of children for the night, MUCH earlier than most mommies. If it's not a day when Daddy was home for dinner, we eat at this point. I like to eat with him so that he feels like he is part of the family too. By 8 pm we are usually finished with eating and cleaning a few of the dishes, leaving plenty for tomorrow of course. Then I have no brain. Seriously. It's like, "What is it that I do now?" And then I just do the routine things that naturally happen. No deep thought involved, just spend some time at the computer because that's where my mind likes to process, talk and spend time with Handsome, and read a bit.

At 10 pm I wake Smiles if he hasn't already asked to eat (that would mean crying if you didn't catch that since you obviously know nothing about children, lady in the paper). He eats. I sleep. I wake up the next morning to do it all again.

This example was a day with NO grocery shopping, NO library visits, NO play dates. NOTHING. Smiles DID NOT poop with the force of a volcano (insert imagery here) while in public with no spare clothes because I left the house in a hurry and therefore had to take them off him and bring him home in a diaper and sweater (lucky for me he still has blankets all the time). *big breath*

So you see, though your life is busy and difficult (because we all have to deal with what we are given and each of us has difficult things in our day), your friend with children who doesn't make time for you is a different kind of busy. When she goes to the grocery store, she is still at work. You, my dear, are not. And when she gets those few moments to herself, she may just forget that she hasn't called you in awhile. She very well may have forgotten her name. It really happens people. I swear, sometimes it really happens.

CRAZY!

You know that song where you sing Hallelujah a couple of times shrunk over small and singing a bit quiet and then you stand up really tall and sing out really loudly, PRAISE YE THE LORD...? You know that one?

Well, I don't think my little singer understands what that means. She has the words a little mixed up.

She likes to go into her brother's room to "get him up" for me. She will go in and stand over his crib and talk to him until I get there. She gets him laughing quite well, so I don't protest the requirement that I not get him for "couple minutes".


So...this morning...I hear her singing to him. It was quite cute, and made me laugh.

"Allay-ooh, allay-oo, allay-oo, allay-oo-ya....CRAYYYY-ZEEEEE the Lord!"


I think she just means that the Lord is crazy to love us so much. You think that works? I think it works.

Tinkling in the Night

I may, or may not have been up at nearly 1:00 am cleaning tinkled sheets this morning.

I may, or may not have forgotten to change Curly's panties to a diaper last night when we put her clothes on fresh at the dryer because they were so warm.

She may, or may not have kept saying "Silly Momma!" continuously as I cleaned up her perhaps shaking with cold body, and might have also kept telling me that she was "FREEZING" with her violent shivers.

I may or may not be too prideful to come fully clean about it by actually admitting what I did or did not do...which is why, perhaps, I have to go about saying it in a silly way.

Silly Handsome

This is our four cup coffee pot. I like it. It makes it possible for Handsome to have fresh, hot coffee when he is going to work and still allows me to have my two cup serving of fresh, hot coffee later. Who wants coffee that's been sitting out? Not me. I bought it because #1- the glass broke on the last one that was borrowed from his mother, and #2- I wanted one that would make a two cup serving so that I could make just enough for one person.

Disclaimer now: Handsome reads all my posts that poke a little fun at him and is okay with them. He cries a lot of the time (in laughter) because he knows how silly he is. I told him he needs a blog so that he can write about my silly things too. He hasn't done it yet.

Okay, now that I have made sure that you don't think I pick on him too much, guess what he tells me the other morning... He is in the kitchen making coffee in the morning for the two of us on his day off. He gives a grunty sigh in major frustration. I ask what is the matter.

"It only made four cups!"

"Uhhh...you know it's a four cup coffee pot, right?"

"But I put six cups of water in it to make more!" Totally confused and ticked at the STUPID coffee pot. Grrrrr! (face and tone in his voice)

"Ummm, honey, it only makes four cups." I smile with love trying not to laugh my bones out at him while I try to figure out where his mind is. "It doesn't fit six cups."

"Yes. I poured six cups of water in there. It should have made six cups!"

"HONEY- look at the back of the coffee maker. Do you see that hole back there? The water will come out if you fill it more full than that four cup line. Is that why there is water all over the counter when you make coffee for us lately?"


He just smiles in slight embarrassment and walks away. He is awesome at his job, but it's a good thing he doesn't do mine.

Laundry Chronicles: Case of the Missing Socks

There is a place that no mother has seen. A place where there are mountains of missing things that disappear from us forever. A place that makes no sense. This place has many different names, my mother always called it Binky Land.

Binky Land is now home to countless socks (only one in the pair), pacifiers, pocket change, small favorite toys, and so on. Many mothers have attempted to find this place only to be mocked by the oh so small mayor of Binky Land. I can't remember even half the things that I have lost to this land of apparent scavengers, but I know that it exists. I know that this Thumbelina sized man laughs in the face of us all while he watches us searching from room to room, under couch and bookshelf, until exhausted we fall and forget our search. What being could find joy in such frustration? It is beyond my comprehension to understand the mind of such a creature. It is a mystery best left undisturbed.

I must share. I think I have found one of the portals to Binky Land. If you read this post and I have suddenly disappeared shortly after, there is no hope. The tiny menacing guy has seen me. Do not send out a search party. You will exhaust yourself in vain. No one can actually get to Binky Land, but my hope is that you might have a portal like mine. If you find yours, you can possibly save an item or two from being snatched.

Mine is in my washing machine. I found it a while back. I have front loaders and was doing some laundry. I went to switch the clothes from the washing machine to the dryer and there was a sock partially hanging out of the rubbery barrier above the place where the water drains in the door. I reached to grab it and found that this rubbery thing could be moved. I peeled it back, curious of what it might look like. I hit the mother load! Millions of socks (okay, so really less than ten individual socks) were hidden in this little portal. They must have been stored so that they could be gathered later. I pulled them all out and switched them to the dryer. I foiled your plans you creepy Binky Land man, you will have to wait for another day to laugh in this mother's face! Sadly, there must be more than one portal because he is still able to accomplish these small deeds of theivery. Someday my little man. Someday.

Rubber Bands

It's so funny how kids will mix up words. For the longest time Curly had called Band-Aids by the wrong name. She will walk up to me crying and say, "Mommy, hurt me. Need rubber band!" I have been trying since this started to tell her that in fact she needs a Band-Aid. The whole time we are going to get one I emphasize that we are going to get a BAND-AID for her owie.

Today I have been cleaning a lot. It's that whole nesting post baby thing and I am trying to get my house back in order. I went in the bathroom while she was eating her lunch to put my hair up. Having thick hair like mine gets very hot when you are active. I walk out and she says, "Band-Aid there!"

Confused I asked her what she was talking about. "Mommy have Band-Aid on her right there!" As I am looking all over my body to figure out what the heck she is talking about she says, "Mommy!" trying to get my attention and tell me that I am so dense and she can't believe I don't get it, "Band-Aid in yours hair!". This time she was yelling at me with a tone of disappointment in how much intelligence I was lacking.

Got it. Band-Aid is something she thinks I wear in my hair, and rubber band is something I put on you when you are bleeding. Mommy will try to be smarter in the future.

Afraid of My Own Shadow

Sometimes late at night, when everyone is asleep in bed and I am feeding Smiles in the dark, I get scared. The fish tank, which is so low with water that it roars like a waterfall, covers all other sounds. It is also the only light since I do not wish to wake my son more than I have to and I also do not want to wake from my sleep walkish state.

I was changing the little bottom one night before switching to the other side for feeding when I saw something move. I saw the shadow of it on my left. I wasn't sure what it was, I just knew that I had seen something. Was it a spider that had been extra close to the light? Was it our cat or dog? Whatever it was had now gone, so I finished feeding my boy and promptly put him on my shoulder for burping so we could both get back into our beds.

What was that! I felt something move across my arm. Fear lurched me forward. It must have been the something that I had seen before in the shadows! How would I defend myself...and my son? I am terribly afraid of spiders. All this in split seconds in my head because as I look down I see that my little tickle had come from none other than Smiles. His tiny little hand had ever so slightly brushed my arm. My goodness I need to wake up a little more when I am feeding him. I can't believe I am so easily frightened...oh wait, yes I can.

Laughing My Booty Off

This is the picture that Handsome put on our desktop tonight...that had me laughing so hard I cried...and you'd never guess it's from this religious blog.

(Disclaimer: I didn't actually read any of the blog so it could be a crazy cult for all I know.)

The Laundry Chronicles: The Pile

I think someone could use some light hearted words today, so lets head in for the laundry chronicles!

I am not the only woman to have a problem with THE PILE. Over my short years of marriage I have heard more than one wife discuss this issue. If you are married, and have been for any length of time, you already know what I am talking about. This is no problem that is generational, it surpasses all time constrictions. This is an epic issue. It is an issue that has baffled women since there has been laundry.

When I got married I didn't know what I was getting myself into. Yes, most women don't understand all the things that they have now committed to overlook or struggle with for the rest of their existence on this earth. Young and naive, I always saw my soon to be husband's laundry done and put away. I suppose that I could have guessed that his mother was still taking care of it at her house, but his dad? I don't think so. Looking back, his mother must have gone in to his room shortly after he dressed and picked his clothes up off the floor or something. For the first little while of marriage he was still "playing house" as some would say. He still cared about trying to impress me. Let's be honest, that's very short lived! Soon I realized what all women realize. My husband was a little bit lazy when it comes to keeping house. On his side of the bed was a pile. This pile, should I choose to ignore it, would swiftly become a mountain of the clothing that my guy so casually cast aside at the end of each day. Time and time again my naive little self would patiently remind him to please put his clothing in the hamper. I soon became a little less kind and would share my utter frustration with him less sparingly. Okay dude! This is starting to tick me off! Put your stinky man cloth in the hamper so that it's not littering the floor in my bedroom. Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you!

I tried moving the hamper next to his side of the bed. It didn't work. Somehow making it easier gave him reason to actually pick his clothes up less often. Before the move, I would perhaps get a clean floor once a week when he thought the pile was getting a bit large or he would run out of some type of clothing. After trying to make things more simple, he would never clean it up because I had to bend over to get the laundry from the bottom of the laundry basket anyway, so I think he felt that it wasn't worth the effort at all.

After five years of trying and nagging, my husband's pile has migrated. This time it baffles me farther though, no sense can be made of this pile. Let me paint the picture of frustration here. My husband, love him as I may, will take his clothes all the way to the closet where the hamper is so that I will not nag him about the pile next to the bed and he will put the clothes- not into the hamper, but right in front of it. What is that!?! Seriously if there is a man reading this post who knows, or a woman who has cracked the code that is husband, I would really like to know. His serious thought process tells him that he is helping me out by taking them over to the floor in front of the hamper. It would take absolutely NO more effort, nada-nothing-zilch, to put his clothing into the hamper instead of dropping them in front of it. What is this hamper phobia and what are the mothers of this country overlooking so blatantly that the phenomenon has stricken men across city and state borders? You would think that our hamper was 7 feet tall and he didn't want to try and reach the top of it! I cannot understand, I have tried. Perhaps we need to see a linen counselor or something.

I do solemly swear to try in vain as those that have gone before me, to attempt with all my might to raise my son to fearlessly stand against the hamper army. Though I may try and fail, I believe it is better to loose in attempting to break the cycle of fear that apparently haunts every man rather than not try at all. I vow to fight the good fight. Mothers across America, I implore you to stand with me. Together we can conquer THE PILE for our daughters and their daughters. We shall overcome!