Gumby Here...

Do you want to know something? This family has....(sneaks closer to wispser in your ear)...chores!

SHHHH! Don't tell mom that I told you. Do you know what those are? Well, let me tell you all about them.

Mom says that she thinks all members of a family should help out with the things that need to get done, even when they are little. She said that it's best to start learning to help out when you are little...I've never heard such things.

Smiles and I are in charge of picking up our toys, and helping with laundry. This is the laundry cleaning machine. I like to do the buttons best!

Here's me with my brother and sister pulling dry clothes out of this thingy and into the basket. When we get to the end, Curly has to do it. She has really long arms. Almost like an adult!

We all help carry clothes from the laundry sorter to be put in the cleaning machine.

Curly is really good at it because she has had lots of practice.

I can carry a LOT just like my big sister. (Do you see me wearing her boots? I'm going to be just like her when I get bigger.)


Sometimes Smiles gets in the way and I have to wait for him to move. Mom says we have to be patient with him while he is learning too. He is little, so he doesn't understand the rules as well and me and Curly yet.

I show him how though. This is my strong face.

Smiles pushes the clothes into the back for us. Mom thinks he is trying to get as close to climbing in as he can. She might be right.

Curly has other chores. She folds the washcloths, and sorts laundry into piles. She makes a pile for each person in the family. Then Mom folds the clothes and puts them away. Sometimes Curly likes to help with that too, but she doesn't have to.

Curly's last job is feeding the animals. She fills the cat's food...Daddy does the water.

Smiles can't wait until he can feed the animals! But Mom says he likes to eat their food too much just yet and he has to wait. He just helps Curly by picking up what she doesn't get in the dish. Mom doesn't seem to like when he helps with that though...

Anyway, I've never heard of such a thing! What kind of chores do your kids do when they are little?

My First Non-born

Non-born being adopted of course. My second little girl. This little one has also taught me more than I imagined that she could. Truly placed in our family by the hand of God, she was meant to be right where she is.

Gumby has given me new understanding of my relationship with the Lord. A new appreciation for the love and patience He has for us when we are adopted into His family. I wish I had patience like that, though I know that I can't because I am not God. Oh how amazing it is that He loves us fully from the moment we are adopted. And He knows who we are.

There are levels of understanding this that I can't even explain. Just thoughts that come to my mind here and there. Thoughts of how I understand God's love just a little bit more.

Gumby is so free. She is herself and is not hindered by much. She watches the other children and tries to play like them, hanging on every move that Curly makes some days. Even the things I would have her NOT pay attention to. But it's not to fit in. The social desires seem different. It's not because she wants to be accepted, because she knows she is accepted. It's more that she admires and mimics just out of desire to be like those that she admires.

It's so easy to get a smile out of my second girl. She loves to be girly and knows that the camera means bring out the smile.

And her favorite thing? Babies! She loves dolls. Most often you will find my little Gumby with a doll in her hand. She is made for mothering...as Smiles will tell you she practices on him all the time. I'm sure she will be a great big sister to our #4.

...right after she learns how to be a little more gentle. She and Smiles will get to work on that a little.

Oh, and did I mention that she isn't just a one baby kind of girl? She often has six or so all around her. I guess she is preparing to go back to her roots when she gets older. Maybe she will serve children in an orphanage somewhere =).

Okay...or maybe not. We will just let Gumby and God determine what her life entails. No matter how she keeps her arms full of God's children.

I told you she watches. She wants to be like the ones she loves. Here she watches Curly and learns how to pose for Mommy when the camera is out.

Silly faces are perhaps not so much her thing all the time =). Gumby is quiet sometimes too. She sits and watches, or will focus on something she is trying to learn.

(Of course, this means with a baby doll in hand.)

Silly faces aren't always out of the question though. She makes this one all the time. She thinks it's funny to make a surprised face when you aren't really surprised...does it all the time and follows up with a giggle.

We love having you in our family Gumby, and we are excited to watch you grow. I'm glad that you were our child of God's promise. We wouldn't have it any other way.

Gumby Love

I just wanted to make sure you all know, as I am pretty sure you do, that even though we aren't at the same place in our relationship as the mother child relationship with Curly and Smiles, I do love this little one. I love her so much more than any other child that I did not birth myself. We learn more about each other everyday and we grow that bond all the time. I no longer feel like I am taking care of someone's child. She is mine.

While I know that other adoptive parents do understand what I am talking about, I wanted to make sure that those that haven't adopted know that- while we aren't there, we are certainly progressing in the process. And the process is already totally worth every part of the relationship gained.

I figured you all knew that, but I had to make sure. (And really, who couldn't love that face?)

A Lot Like Forgiveness

Learning. It's always going on, doesn't stop our whole lives. Though I do think that as adults we have more difficulty learning instead of just repeating the same lessons because we have to actually look for them.

There are experiences in my past that deal with forgiveness. I still have a hard time not harboring negative feelings when wronged, but I have learned some things about forgiveness. Forgiving deep hurt. It's definitely not in the easy category, that's for sure.

When someone has an offense against you that is on the high end of painful and it would be understood by all if you didn't forgive...if you just closed the door on the person who clearly trampled on your "rights" as a human being, it's very painful to extend forgiveness. Sometimes the person doesn't even want or think they need you to forgive them.

The thing is, there are stages and levels of forgiving and in the beginning it's a lot about going through the motions and not feeling it. That's something that people say all the time, but I guess things like that don't become cliche for no reason. When your decision to forgive a person who has hurt you starts, you may not feel like it. You may have to talk those feelings of resentment right out of your mind and you may have to try really hard not to be mean or cry every time you see them. But it does get easier and you do move on and grow as you continue making the choice to forgive. You do start to loose the feelings of hurt. You do start to see the person for who they really are again as opposed to seeing them through the goggles of offense.

I'm learning that love can be a lot like this too. Some people you fall in love with right away. You choose the spouse that you do because they make you feel a certain way. It doesn't usually start out as work and by the time you have to work through any major issues it's usually far enough in that you have built a foundation that you can work on top of. Most people wouldn't marry someone without having "sparks" at this point. I'm sure there are some, but marriage is about "love" and not "duty" these days. When you bring a baby home from the hospital, there are feelings that grow between you and that baby. You fall in love pretty quickly, and while you don't actually choose the child you will be birthing, God has given us a bond that comes from a spawning a little drooler that comes forth from your gene pool. There are even friends that we just click with from the start. Friendships that are easy to cultivate and just happen naturally. Usually with people that have lots of similarities to us that we can relate to well.

But what about the relationships that don't come quite that easy? It seems we are to love all of God's children as we love ourselves, not just the ones that come easy. The socially awkward people that you don't really know how to react or respond to. The neighbor who has the exact opposite opinion on politics or religion from you. The family member that everyone dreads seeing at family visits because they make everyone feel so awkward. These are all people we are called to love as ourselves. Right?

Well, I am not good at that. I am not good at cultivating love.

God gives us situations that force us to work out our issues and learn what we need to learn if we let Him. If we choose to learn the lessons He sets out before us. Ana is my "love child". (I know that means something different, but who cares.)

I don't love Gumby like I love Curly and Smiles yet. That's just the truth. When she is being naughty, it's easier for me to feel upset with her quicker. She teaches me patience. When she cries, it doesn't bring out maternal feelings as often. I just want her to stop. I am her mother anyway. When her diaper is filled with solids, it often makes me feel ill (she still has institutional smelling diapers). I change her diaper anyway, just like I would Smiles. I have no choice but to go through the motions most of the time. Sometimes I fail her. I am not the perfect mother to any of our children. I loose my temper and I mess things up. But everyday I am growing just like them.

While my heart and thoughts may differ still, the actions are made the same anyway. I act toward her as I would the others as much as I can. Messing up this time doesn't mean that I have to give up for next time. I can't give up. She is here to stay. She is my daughter today...no matter how long it takes for me to feel that way.

And you know what? While I grow in my patience and while I practice love in those times that I really don't want to, love grows. Just like when I walk through the motions of forgiveness and eventually start to feel like I've forgiven...when I walk through the motions of love when I don't feel it, real love starts to grow too.

What About Those Doctor's Appointments?

I realized that I haven't given you much update on what we have found with all of the doctor's appointments that we have had with Miss Ana. And believe me, there have been PLENTY of them recently. I will give you a very condensed version.

All of the testing for international adoption came back great. No parasites, no other issues. They do quite the full route of testing there, so that's good to know.

(I promise that we DO dress our children in clothes other than pajamas...just not all the time.)

All of her DS testing has come back good too. We are still waiting on the results of her test to determine what type of Down Syndrome she has, so that we don't know yet. The genetics appointment wasn't all that big a deal for us, I suppose because of all the information we got through the process of adopting her. Most of the people involved in RR know plenty of information about DS since so many of them have children with DS, and they are not stingy with their information =).

Her neck scan/x-ray came back "good", meaning she has no issues with stability in her neck.

Heart issues- less than expected, even after our appt with our pediatrician. He thought from his listen that we would find an ASD and VSD, which are holes in her upper and lower chambers of the heart (and the cardiologist in Kyiv told us that this was the case as well). After her echo (I think I am remembering the name of that correctly...it's like an ultrasound type scan of her heart) with a pediatric cardiologist here, we found that she only has a small VSD that will most likely not need surgery. The upper part of her heart is slightly enlarged, but not enough to worry about at this point. She is old enough that he doesn't think her hole will close on it's own, but he doesn't think it will cause any issues for her. We are just going to watch her every six months for awhile to make sure.

As far as appointments with her OT (occupational therapist), she is doing amazingly well. The OT has been surprised at how well she focuses on the things we are working on and how quickly she responds. She learned a few things before even having her eval and seeing a therapist at home (learned to stack blocks, thread string through spools) very easily. When we have gone to our appointments there she learns very quickly and also works through the things that are not in her comfort zone quickly. I think of the shopping cart as a good example from home. Often she will act terrified of something and then by the time we try it next she acts as if it was never an issue. She just jumps right into it.

We have noticed that she speaks with her tongue a LOT. When I say this, I mean that while she may not express that something is causing her anxiety, you can see clearly by the way she reacts with her tongue that she is not comfortable. Especially with doctors appointments that are in unfamiliar offices, she will place her tongue all the way out, nearly going UNDER her chin. (She does have a looooong tongue.) The more anxious she is feeling about something, the more she will do it. Now, there are times that she will give us ques with sound or motions with her hands...like straight screaming or crying, or hitting something away...but those are not often and those are the times that we know she isn't ready to try something. (Hasn't happened at therapy yet, this has been in situations out in our daily life.) When we get the tongue action going on that usually says that "this is not familiar and I am not comfortable with it, but I trust you and I will give it a try". This little girl is such a persistent and focused child that she learns quite quickly. She is also very good at observing to learn (she will copy what she sees us do when it looks interesting to her, especially helpful with therapy), and she learns very quickly with instruction. Her OT told me today, after our second appointment, that she was very impressed with all that she has seen in this short time and sees her easily getting "on grade level" quickly.

We still have a long way to go with speech, which is expected with all of the things she is working with, including the fact that English is a new language for her. I think I would have a hard time with that too!

Some of her more difficult areas:

She does have a problem with "stuffing" food, which we were very prepared for. (I would prefer the stuffing to the option of not wanting to try the normal foods we eat and needing to coax her into eating.) Our OT has started us working on stimulating her mouth before eating to help with that. We just started that today, so I will let you know how it goes. They have an actual class with children that have sensory issues with eating specifically, so I am sure that her suggestions will help quite a bit. She had a lot to tell us about this issue and what some of the causes are.

We also have the speech issues. Ana will have a hearing evaluation and that should help us with a plan there. At this point we aren't sure what role hearing plays in her speaking development. Also, the mouth stimulation we are doing should help with this. It will make her more "aware" of things in her mouth and that is one of the reasons for both the "stuffing" and the word formation troubles we are seeing, according to our OT.

I think that's all the update I have on Miss Ana for right now. If there is anything you wondered about that I didn't cover, just ask in the comments and I will give an answer for you...even if it's that we haven't looked into it yet.