Friday, September 6, 2013

Dear Mom,

I don't blog anymore and I'm honestly not planning on coming back to it.  I don't have time for it.  I'm busy being Mommy to 5 cute little people and wife to a really neat guy.  But there's just this one thing I need to share.

You, Mom, I need to talk to you.  Your job is hard.  Boy do I know your job is hard.  You've got a thousand things to do all day long, and that might be close to the literal count.  You get interrupted constantly by people who need something from you, people who spilled things, broke things, pooped in or on things, or attempted to go Cain on your little Abel.  People don't get you unless they ARE you, unless they do what you do every day.  And plenty of people get really worn out after lasting an hour or two doing what you do 24/7.

I get all of that.  I REALLY get all of that.  I live it everyday too.

And while you are doing all of this stuff, going a little crazy on the inside from time to time...or maybe more often than that... you start to feel like you can't compete, like you can't do this as well as everyone else.  You want to be more, do more, spread more good things.  You want to see fruit on your spiritual tree, and goodness knows you aren't sure what the fruit you are growing with these little people is going to turn out like.  The you in you starts to fade.  You get lost and you aren't sure where to find you.  Your thoughts drift to what you aren't doing and who you aren't anymore and all the things that are wrong with you.

Enter that voice.  Be it from a person in your life, articles or posts on the internet, or something you watch.  That voice starts to tell you that you're great the way you are, you don't need to change anything about you, we all ROCK in our own way, and it's judging yourself or others to want more than that.  That voice promotes that we expect mediocrity.  That voice tells us we are crazy to think we can do any more than get by.  People spread it and then we soak it up.

We can be more.  I don't agree with the people who give all kinds of excuses for why you can't be the Proverbs 31 woman.  She didn't have a name, so she never existed.  She had servants.  She was ... insert excuse here.

I am not in competition with you and you are not in competition with me.  And we can do so much more if we encourage each other instead of making excuses for one another.  Check the voices that are pouring into your mind.  All of the voices.  TV, music, friends, family, church.  Which voices speak life, and which voices speak negativity?  Step one, cut out the negative voices.  " Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8

Step two, stop trying to be ALL of it all at one time.  Prioritize.  Let God shape the image you are going for. When I start to get overwhelmed, I know that something I'm doing is not what God intended for me to do.  What you were made for and what I was made for are different things, so I can't give you a formula.  If you are feeling overwhelmed, you may want to look at scaling back and slowly adding in as God shows you what you should be doing.

People often ask me how I do it with 5 small children.  I explain that it's acclimation.  When you add one at a time, you acclimate to each one.  I had a season where we added a little quickly and it was really hard.  It took longer to acclimate because there was a lot of work added in at the same time.  I think it's the same with being transformed into a better wife and mother.  It is a process that we learn a little at a time.  If we try to change it all at one time, we make no progress.  When we add one thing at a time and master it, then we progress.

My point is, be okay with where you are and that you have stuff to work through.  Be okay when other people aren't where you are.  Judgement is worthless, it's poison and it grows nothing.  But consider having the goal of improving.  Consider having people in your life who draw you up into those better things, rather than making excuses for why you aren't who you would like to be.  Be prayerful in your decisions about what to focus on first and then feel good about the one area that you are improving.

Your job is so important.  You are the administrator in your home.  When you function at full capacity it allows the rest of your family to go and do their jobs better.  Mom, you are performing a job.  Treat it as the career it is.  Have goals for your future.  Desire to be a stronger asset to your family.  And as you grow, as you learn to function in your job at higher capacity, you will find you again.  Those who give up their lives will find them.  Don't look for more me time, but instead be about others, be about God.  Then, God will be about you.

1 comment:

Hi, I'm Alysha -But you can call me Lysh said...

I haven't been to your blog in about 2 or 3 years..literally. I followed along on your adoption journey and then got busy with ours. Funny that God lead me to peek in on your blog tonight and had me read exactly what I needed to read..especially since you haven't been blogging here in a while. Thank you and may God bless you in life and in your Mothering. Hugs, Lysh.