Friday, March 13, 2009

Meet the Family: Lily and Slippy...and HIM

Dude!

Seriously though, DUDE! I meant to write my post earlier today, but since I was up till the wee hours of the morning not sleeping (read: 4am) due to my own irresponsibility, I fell asleep when I put Curly to bed. I just woke up.

Curly and Smiles go to bed at 6pm.

Yes. They do. That is exactly why I did not tell you that before. I knew you would ask the same questions.

Between 7 and 8 am. Yes, I know, they sleep a lot...blah, blah, blah. Point is I was asleep REALLY early!

So, the first change of plans is the time this post was written. The second, well I had planned to jump into the extended family today, but have had a request. Brie does not want a certain family member to be left out and thus you will get to meet the three, shall we say "less human" members of our household.

Handsome loves animals. If he had it his way we would either have a zoo or live in the middle of a wildlife sanctuary so that they would not be caged. Who the heck knows. I am the voice of reason, which means we will not be finding out. I have limits. If it says woof, meow, or just swims around and has gills I will think about it.

Otherwise NO.

No birds (we had one once and it ended in a very sad way)
No lizards
No rodents including but not limited to rats, ferrets, gerbils, hamsters, etc.
No frogs (we had those once too)
ABSOLUTELY NO spiders

The list goes on, but I will spare you. Handsome does have a dream of owning a tortoise that roams freely in our backyard. I am not sure where this came from or if it is even possible, but it still resides on our NO list at this time.

We DO have Lily, Slippy, .....and HIM.


Lily is our petite Golden Retriever. She was born the November before we got married (we were married August 30, 2003). My parent's dog, Molly, is Lily's mommy. They got to spend lots of time together when Lily was a puppy and still get to see each other sometimes. Lily is the most loving dog you will ever meet. She's got some spunk, but she lives to please. People are often surprised that we don't have a fenced yard and we are able to just let her outside on her own. She will stay in her boundaries. Most of the time... She has been known to love our neighbors that share the "fence free" part of the yard with us.

On a side note, these poor neighbors have the most beautiful yard ever. It's amazing. Then they have to split the pleasant view of their oasis with the barren wasteland that is our yard. Seriously disgusting. You should feel bad for them. They are obviously Christian people or they would never make eye contact with us. You should send them your condolences.

I'm not yanking your chain guys...here is their blog if you want to tell them how sorry you are for them.

My point was about Lily. I think they like her okay. I think.


Lily is also very submissive. She doesn't care if she is the boss as long as she gets to play. She has been known to "belly up" to the tiniest dogs around. Gramps and GG have a little miniature poodle that is pretty bossy with her and she just takes it. (I think Corky is kind of a grumpy old fart sometimes. He's fine and all, but he is no Cory Gramps. That incident is a very traumatizing one for me still too. I am not talking about Cory any more.)

Oh, and the reason that Brie wanted me to tell you about Lily is that she lived with me when Lily was a puppy. We brought her home to that apartment and it was a sweet time in our lives. We all miss those days. So Brie, you are welcome to write a tribute to Lily in the comments if you wish. I don't care if it's long...just not like three pages or something.

On to Slippy. Slippy is our catfish. He is either REALLY lacking in the smarts department, or he is one of those crazy genius beings who is so lonely and bored that he goes insane. Either way, he freaks me out from time to time. Handsome has to do all of the tank duties. When you do anything, and I mean anything with that tank...Slippy freaks out. He goes bonkers. He goes insane! When you add water, he tries to jump out of the tank. When you try to clean the tank...he tries to jump out.

We are not talking a guppy here. This fish has surpassed "flushable" many moons ago. Well, I guess he is long and skinny, so he may still be flushable. It's questionable. Anyway, he's a crazy fish that will give you the stink eye and a swish of the tail just to give himself kicks.

Last, and I would say least, is HIM.


HE is Kitty. I would love to convince Handsome to get Kitty a new home. He lives to torment me. There was a time when I liked said cat, in fact, I was the one who asked Handsome if we could adopt him from the streets. He was the same age as Lily and they fell in love with each other. It was sweet. Kitty, formerly known as...get this...Tangeriney (um...yeah...that was ALL handsome!), was more dog-like. He didn't have that aire that cats have. He didn't have the attitude.

I dugg him. We were cool. We were tight buds.

Then somewhere he changed back into a cat.

He scratches the couch a little bit from time to time. He sleeps on MY pillow and gets fur all up in the fibers. He meows at me during the most unfortunate times and he darts from room to room at night waking my children. He bites people, and I don't care that it is gentle love bites. It's just not cool Kitty! And you know what else? He bites little holes in my clothing. Yep. The little turd chews tiny itty bitty holes in my clothes.

I used to think it was the washing machine until I caught him in the act.

No more Kitty. No more. I know your evil ways. You are not my friend anymore.

I know. My attitude toward him is unkind. I just want to let him live with a family whose members ALL love him. doesn't he deserve that?

If you want the aforementioned cat to come and grace your home with his sweet little eyes, please send all letters to Handsome pleading for this opportunity. He will love it.

9 comments:

Best Fantasy and Science Fiction said...

The day Kitty "dissapears" is the day I am very very angry with you lady! He is an excellent cat, although I do admit annoying at times. Those bites just means he loves you!

Slippy is an amazing fish. I like him second best in the long list of fishies we have had. The top spot goes to the two mating Angelfish...may they rest in peace.

I do love our Lily. She is always there for you in your best and worst moments. She is also a great vacume for the kids!

Oh and I don't want a tortoise to roam the backyard...I want a turtle to do it. Big difference! By the way they smell a lot better than chickens. I don't know what you see in chickens. Turtle's can lay eggs too! :)

Vicky said...

I, too, was going to mention your desire to one day raise your own chickens. According to your "no" list, they are "not gonna happen" :)

I'm glad you guys don't live at the zoo or a wildlife sanctuary. I would never be able to visit if all those animals roamed freely. And spiders are NOT pets. I just killed a medium-large one downstairs.

Lily is still the only dog I have ever loved. She continues to be the exception in my dog-loathing. (although lately, she's been testing me on that last sentence...). I'd say we still get along pretty well.

HIM... I'm with ya there. Hence the reason he usually goes outside when I'm babysitting. I've never gotten close enough for him to try his love-bites, but those would not fly with me either.

This was a great post! Very funny!

Bill and Tonya said...

The neighbors LOVE Lily!!!! She is a great puppy typically only comes to visit us once we have clapped our hands and tell her hi! We love to have her come visit.

Nana said...

Don't forget that there were also pet RATS in Handsomes past. And they were wonderful pets!

Gramps said...

Ambi: I think you gave Corkey a BUM RAP. He has a right to be a little Grumpy look who he lives with. All joking aside he really is the best dog we have ever had.
I dont know any other DOG that likes to go FISHING like he does. That alone makes him a top dog.
I loved this post, I laughed until I had tears in my eyes.
Handsome can come visit us anytime and be in the WILD.

Mom (Lisa) said...

Even though you hate Kitty I think he deserves a picture...He is still a member of the family, and slippy too.

I LOVE the pic of Curly and Lily both licking the sprinkler!

You know how much I love our Li-Li she is a very sweet dog and we (Dad and I) think of her as our "grand-dog".
She does act kinda weird when we come over to your house. We love to have her come and visit us though!

Claire said...

Ummm...do we have the same cat? who does the same poses??

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_2fu017ez_Uw/SbfVQ18UIHI/AAAAAAAADXY/MGxKIV20Mao/s1600-h/DSCN1620.JPG

Jenilee said...

i am with you on the pet thing. my sister tried the "get rid of the husband's cat" trick last year and it didn't go over so well. watch out! :)

I'm also with you on the bedtime thing! I put our girls to bed at 7PM. It is wonderful. They get lots of healthy good sleep and I get my evenings free! I am an early bedtime believer! it really works well for us. now, my husbands family are wild night owls so it makes staying with family interesting but I'm learning to be flexible when I need to be. It's good to find another early-to-bed mommy!

Brie said...

Aww, I love Lily so much! I am so glad you included her in your blog. She is the sweetest dog ever! I have a picture of her when she was a puppy with her head in a coffee cup trying to drink hot chocolate! I think that animals tend to act a lot like their owners, that would explain why Lily is such a sweet dog! I really do think animals pick up certain "traits" from their owners. And I have to say, I hate long hair cats and am not a big cat fan, but I love HIM!!!! He is a sweet cat and if Tom wouldn't be heartbroken with out him I would take him!! I like his love bites!! He is so cute! If you were trying to get people to be on your side about not liking him you should have picked a different picture, he is just adorable!