Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Strength Will Rise as I Wait Upon the Lord

When something big hits your life out of nowhere and you are caught so off guard that you feel baffled at how to even begin the process of picking yourself up off the ground, where do you turn? Well, I turn to God. That's one of the most easy choices for me at this point. If anything comes and shakes my life, I know that prayer and faith in my Father in Heaven will get me through. It might be emotional, but I know that I can make it and He will guide me and bring me out better than when I started.

I would imagine that I am not part of any small handful of people there. I would say that with the big stuff a very large percentage of Americans would run to God. No matter what the past was filled with, He is the guy when things are beyond our power. Because of this it is often necessary for Him to bring us closer to Him through life quaking obstacles that shake us to the core. I'm going to say that I think our hearts are more important to Him than our emotional pain. He would (and He proved this) do anything to get our attention to Him and have our hearts connected with His.

Even if it hurts right now.


We have to grow from there. We have to learn deeper and seek His heart and desire for us more as our faith deepens. Life progresses and more responsibility is part of growing up.

Christ wants to have ALL of my life. All of my attention, all of my choices, all of my moments throughout my day. The longer I trust in Him, the more that should be reality. I am learning a lesson here. It's kind of hard for me.

When something big comes along, I don't have much issue turning to God. It's something that I have had to do before and because it has worked well and He proved faithful, that is no longer something that takes as much faith for me. But...with the small things I do have more trouble. Perhaps small isn't the word, but trivial might fit better.

He makes it clear that He wants to provide for me. In everything. My daily needs and more.

It seems to me that the more we have, the more we have trouble growing a deep relationship with Him that compares to one with a life based in trial. I don't think that the reason behind this is all that deep either.

The more that I have, the easier I can provide what I need and want. The more of my wants/needs that I can provide on my own, the less I need to turn to God. When I don't need Him, it's easy to let all the little distractions that are placed in front of me take precedence.

I'm imperfect.

He knows it.

So, recently I am finding it hard to let Him provide in a certain area. It is perfectly within my own power to do so. It would be so much easier to place my faith in other things. Other people. More widely acceptable options.

Instead I wait. And to some extent I feel that I wait alone. Just He and I.

Sure, my husband is willing to go along with me for the ride (sort of), but he hasn't received the same word from God that I have. His feelings are not based on His faith, but rather on mine. My mother and some others that I am quite close to are supportive, but still make me feel like perhaps I am not hearing Him perfectly clearly, or maybe He will change what He says later.

No. I really feel not. It feels very clear exactly what I am waiting for. I just have to trust Him even though it feels out there and it doesn't fit reality. I would laugh at myself a bit and say "Yeah. Right..." if it weren't for the God part of it.

But there are so many things that I am already learning from this time. I have been able to share with a couple of others this faith that I have through it...even if they do think I am wacky for it.

And so I must sit and wait.

...And feel like Noah (except FAR more trivial and unimportant). How would it feel to build a boat and have all the people around you think you are crazy? I obviously can't know that, but I do feel a little bit more for Him than I ever have in the past. I wonder if he ever questioned his "ears" when he heard God. Not just him, but all those that have trusted in God in the past. All those that have been told to be obedient in things that didn't make sense. To trust for things that may not have been that important. To let Him provide, even when they could do it without Him.

Then I remember that God doesn't work in the ways of man and how thankful I am that He doesn't. Not only do our ways often fall to the ground with an explosion, but His ways show that He is God. And how disappointing and frustrating would it be to have a God that worked in the ways of man? How would we know Him from our own works? Why would we need to trust Him at all? What would cause us to seek Him? What would make us believe Him?

But- Strength WILL rise as I wait upon the Lord. As I wait upon Him I do not grow weary or distraught. I grow more confident that He WILL provide. That is how my faith differs from one that is placed in any other than the God of Heaven.

Isaiah 40:13, 14

13 Who has understood the mind of the LORD,
or instructed him as his counselor?

14 Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him,
and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge
or showed him the path of understanding?

Isaiah 40:28-31

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

I will share the details of this story once it has come to completion. For now, just take the little things shared from my heart and let God use them as He will for your life and application. Often to speak in a vague way helps others to relate to their own circumstances anyway.


Raising Olives said...

What a wonderful, thoughtful post. Yes, I often think about what my life would look like if I had faith that I should. It already looks different, but I know inside of myself, that I don't have the absolute, active faith that I should.

Thank you for sharing your heart.


Sheryl said...

Great comments, Amberlyn. It reminds me of another scripture from Isaiah, chapter 55:8, 9. His ways are higher than ours. I think that's why it is easy for me to have the faith to pay tithing. We are always blessed far beyond our ability to repay the Lord anyway, but when we pay tithing, it just does not add up the way we are taught by man. God sees our needs and provides, and for me, with the little I have, I always have enough and to spare. I am greatly blessed. Whatever you are learning at this time in your life, know that I'm praying for you and with you, and I support your "waiting". You have learned to listen to the Lord, and only you can hear Him the way you do because you are unique. He knows us well, and talks to us in a unique way. I have no doubt that you will follow Him as you should; everything will turn out fine, whether it's something you expected or not -- it will be for your BEST good, whether you can see it now, or in 20 years. Love you lots.