Tuesday, November 11, 2008

With a Heavy Heart

There are times in our lives when we have to wonder how God can take something and turn it good. Today is one of those days. Emily left us this afternoon to join her sister in heaven. I am at a loss of what to say, there really is nothing that you can say. It's tragedy at it's finest. Two little precious babies were taken from their parents after little time with them. What is to be said of that?

And yet, I know that our Lord can take the saddest of tragic events and bring good things from them. I can't see how, but do know that it is possible. My confidence was so high in the survival of this little one. I just knew it. And so did many others, many of those that have been in prayer for her have said this same thing. We are just lost at this moment. What happened? Where did those feelings of hope come from?

I don't know. I feel overwhelmed with feeling at this point. I don't know which feelings to feel. I don't know what things to listen to first in there...my head is tight with all of it. And though I know that it's not truth, I can't help but feeling that I failed her. If only I had prayed harder, would she still be here? And truthfully, my sorrow is not for Emily or Allison. It is for her parents and the loss of their entire family. I know the peace that those babies feel in the arms of their Father. It is we who are left behind that must come to terms with our loss and wait until our turn comes to see that place of peace. We have the burdens and worries of this Earth to deal with. It is we who are heavy hearted and distant from continual peace that only comes in the presence of God.

3 comments:

Laurel said...

Praying for the family, and all of you special friends.

No other words ... only prayers.

Laurel
(who has a little one waiting in heaven to meet us when we get there)

Keren said...

Amberlyn.
I was feeling the same way...I was asking myself. what if I just prayed a little harder or a little longer. But I had to tell myself that God had a plan for these little girls from the beginning. Its so hard to comprehend and I dont know if I will ever get it but thats what faith is all about. Thank you for everything you have done to keep us updated. You are an amazing friend.

::hugs::
Keren

Suzanne said...

You didn't fail her.... and you fervently pray for her!!! I still don't understand either and am still mourning their loss.