Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Laundry Chronicles: Recycle (The Bad Kind)

Just an update before we embark on the Laundry Chronicles that I wrote late last week to lighten things up a bit...we are getting a lot done right now and I feel very productive. We got our passports started today and hope that they will take less then the ten weeks they estimate. The lady who did our paperwork today told us that it is about a six week wait right now. I will try to keep you updated on the process, but don't have a lot of time for writing just yet. Handsome is on vacation this week, so we are trying to get as much done as we can.

...Now back to your irregularly scheduled program...

I have come to find that most of the Laundry Chronicles are related to my husband. Why is this so? It's something to think about Handsome...

This amazing and wonderful guy has usually got a nice huge row of white T-shirts hanging in the closet. He wears them under his work shirts everyday and then also under some of his daily shirts as well. After quite some time they wear out. You know, due to that crusty area under the arms. (Am I going to get in trouble for that one? I just might.)

Lets rephrase that. I have a friend who's husband...

Anyway, when they get to the point of no return, it's time to retire them. There is nothing to be done, they are given no last words or final meals. They are just toast. If any of you have some secret life saving treatment that the government is trying to keep from us in order that we might purchase more T-shirts and thus pay more taxes and also support lobbiest companies like Hanes and Fruit of the Loom, well please let me know. As of this point I am being taken advantage of and believing this conspiracy.

So, this husband of mine my friend has lots of T-shirts in his closet and has a handy little way of getting rid of them. He will grab them off of the hanger and find that they are no longer good for wearing. It is requested that he take them to the garbage or something so that they are taken care of at that point and no longer part of the routine. Is that what happens though? Eh...not so much.

Said man takes shirt from hanger. Man sees that aforementioned shirt has unmentionable crust in undisclosed location. Man takes shirt and throws it in the pile in the closet. Unfortunately for his wife, this pile is full of dirty clothing. Other dirty clothing. Dirty good clothing that can be worn again and again post washing.

Can you see the problem one might encounter?

By the time wife realizes that husband is cycling this shirt through over and over...that she is washing and re-washing a shirt that he intends to throw away anyway...

Yeah. You can see where this woman finds frustration. You would think that since he is an efficiency expert he wouldn't want to waste his time either. You know, since he has to find out that the shirt is unusable over and over and over again.

4 comments:

Vicky said...

I think this is the funniest of the Laundry Chronicles thus far. Particularly when you start referring to the husband as "I have this friend who's husband..."

Does your "friend's" husband know that he can throw away a dirty shirt? It doesn't have to be clean to put in the trash can...

Mom (Lisa) said...

Maybe it's hard to throw away a shirt that has served well...maybe there is a hope that if it is washed just one more time, without even getting it dirty first, it may miraculously be revived and thus rejoin the other trusty shirts in the living room closet.

Maybe try rubbing a little Dawn dish liquid on the "crusty" parts and washing in really hot water. If that doesn't work just use them for car washing rags. Then throw them away.

Best Fantasy and Science Fiction said...

Wait a minute this friend's husband sounds a lot like me...and his closet...hhmmm.

First off, the "pile" hardly exists anymore. Maybe once in awhile, but most of the time it isnt there. Unless its my clothes I'm going to put back on...but you already touched that subject prior. Maybe its better because I got moved into the living room closet for the most part? Could that be why? ;)

Anyway, I really do hope when they get washed itll go away. I dont know why it does it. Maybe the detergant hates my deoderant and sweat. Bah. I dunno!

Gramp's said...

Hey ME: Remember you took Him for better or worse. See this is what you get. It's the pleasure to train him like GG has me for 51 yrs and still trying. He will learn some things after a few years.