Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I Want to Shout it Out!

It's sure is something how God can bring drastic change in short time. I gave Him all and He has already changed so much. And please don't take that to mean that I am saying I am awesome and have become perfect. To clarify, I have been making the effort to give in to Him right away when He tells me even the little things. I am only doing the things He is making me aware of, and that's all I can do.

Can I tell you something? I have had this stuck in my head since the moment I heard it. I was listening to a sermon by Francis Chan, the guy who wrote the book Crazy Love (which I am only two chapters into by the way). Anyway, I was listening to this sermon online and he said something that just clicked and stuck. He said something to the effect of- "Don't get all pompous and arrogant about doing good things that God asked you to do. You are never sacrificing with God because God gives back 10 fold and you can never out give God." Clarification again, not a prosperity message by ANY means.

You are never sacrificing with God. Wow. How true that is. When I listen to Him and what He asks of me, when I let Him lead I am the most happy and fulfilled that I have ever been. And I wonder, all those things He says in His word about joy and peace and all that stuff that was often here and there, are those meaning when I am following Him- letting Him guide my every move? I don't know, but it seems to me that all those things that I have read and heard in the old Hymns are making more sense than they ever have in my life. Everything has new meaning. How did I miss all of this!?

I have never lacked fear and worry so much in my life. I have always been one to worry and think things through to the tiniest details. I have always wanted to know the details. BUT now, I am okay with not knowing anything past this step that I am on because I know that He will guide me with each step as it comes and provide for those steps as I reach them. I feel CRAZY inside. I understand wanting to shout from the roof tops about Jesus. For the first time. Sure I would talk about Him because I was supposed to and because I wanted to honor Him, but this is different. Now that I get it I am so filled with excitement that I just wish that everyone understood what it's all about. I wish everyone understood what giving Him control is like!

And ask my husband, when I talk about it, there is passion. I get a little worked up.

Is this going to go away? I know that the newness will wear off, but I pray that my heart will always be filled with this passion for Him. My deepest prayer is that He would keep it there, please don't let me fall back into who I was before Lord.

I am just bursting at the seams with HIM! It's a wild ride folks and I pray that you will open your heart and listen to even the little things that He speaks to you so that He can be working in you in this same way. (That is those of you that aren't already there. I know I am not alone.)

So, I was out pulling weeds in the yard. Something I do about once a year 'cause I like to give my neighbors all reason to dislike us. I was doing that with my Zune playing with some "church music". It was different this time. I despise pulling weeds, but this was different. I was spending time in worship inside of God's creation. It was beautiful. I was out there until dark...and I actually enjoyed it. I never enjoy it. But this is one thing that God changed for me. He has given me that joy that is there in all that I do. Right now my mind is ever filled with Him too. And let me tell you, that is NOT by my doing. That has got to be by the Spirit of God because I have tried to change these things on my own before. Nothing.

I know. All over the place. That's just where I am right now...all over the place! =)


Mom said...

So happy you are filled with JOY!
Enjoy it and let your light shine on!

Vicky said...

I SOOO understand!!! The phrase "shout it from the rooftops" actually came to mind today as I was driving home. Also, what you said about really "getting" what the old hymns are talking about. And the lack of fear! Oh my! It's incredible. For the first time, I feel truly free!

Woohoo!!!! :)

Laurel said...

I am sooo... excited for ALL that God is doing in your life and in Vicky's life. We will HAVE to have another lunch date when I get back from Africa.

Sorry I didn't respond more to your email ... as you know, life has been a whirlwind with this unexpected trip that God dropped into my lap.

I AM praying for you ... and with you in this decision making process.

Many Blessings,

Laurel :)

Stefanie said...

That is wonderful!!! Please pray for me I feel like I have been in a dry spell for a while now! Your joy is contagious!