Thursday, July 29, 2010

Tonight you were crying. 

Small tears, nothing heavy.

Tonight I came in and grabbed you out of your bed.  I filled your drink with more water because that's all you wanted, but then I held you on the floor and rocked you back and forth in my arms.

Tonight you looked up into my eyes and smiled your little grin with your sweet crooked bottom teeth and your eyes that twinkle.  It was a smile of pure happiness.  A smile that said so much, while saying so little.

Tonight tears filled my eyes as yours drifted off so quickly.  Tears knowing how many nights I missed.  How many times I didn't get to rock you to sleep when all you really wanted was a simple glass of water.

Tonight I thought of all the times that you needed more than water.  When you were scared, when you were sick, when you were hurting.  I thought of all the times you needed a Mommy's love and you didn't get to have it.  Nights when all you had was you.

Tonight I remembered that you always had Jesus by your side, even when it looked like you were alone.  He kept you alive when you could have been lost.  He kept you here for my sake, though he could have taken you home for himself.

Tonight I felt thankful.  Thankful that He saved you for me.  Thankful that I have so many nights ahead, to rock you and hold you and kiss your sweet forehead as you drift off to sleep.  Thankful that you are comfortable enough to drift off so quickly in my arms.

Tonight I think my love for you is deeper.  Tonight you are even more my child.


Vicky said...

This made me cry! Sometimes, it seems like she's been here forever... and I forget that she has a lonely past before she joined your crazy, never-lonely family. I have been struck many times in the last week by just how much Gumby has grown and changed in these last 7 months.

(also, love that the smores picture finally made the blog. She was hilarious with all that stickiness!)

Traci said...

Awww what a precious post. Made me cry, thinking about my girl waiting for her mommy to wipe away her tears :(

Jenilee said...

I've got tears in my eyes. so happy for you. i have loved walking through this adoption process with you on your blog. hugs to a great mommy!!

monster's mom said...

she is simply amazing.

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

Beautiful post!

Love the last pic.

:) :) :)

Mom. said...

Gumby is now right where she is supposed to be!

Anonymous said...

I'm sure that this post made all of us mommies cry. It was sweet and poignant. Thank you. You are both blessed to now be in the same family...and the blessings continue throughout your family.

Grandma S (Sheryl)